What If We Unplugged?
Taking back agency in an age of infinite distraction
In “The Matrix”, Neo finds out that his “life” is just a highly convincing simulation created by robot overlords, while the “real world” is much more harsh and dystopian. The intelligent machines that control the world harvest energy from humans, and use the Matrix to keep them pacified with simple pleasures and a hyper-realistic hallucination of a “normal life”.
That movie came out in the year 2000, eight years before the iPhone came out, before Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat and Twitter and YouTube existed.
And yet, looking around the metro on my morning commute, it feels like everyone is in their own Matrix. Some days, I try to go my entire trip without using headphones or checking my phone, just sitting and observing. And those days, I notice that almost everyone is either looking at their phone, or has headphones in, or both. All of us living in our own modern Matrix, conveniently delivered on a 3 x 6 inch screen.
It feels eerie, like I’m in some sort of zombie apocalypse movie. Everyone is entranced by their perfectly curated content, and I feel like the weirdo, just silently sitting there staring forward.
I’m not shaming. That is also me, many days. But I’ve been trying to inject more mindfulness and stillness into my days, and going headphones-free is one simple practice.
It feels scary and dystopian that this is our society now. We are physically near each other, but digitally in our own worlds. We don’t actually inhabit the same space, spiritually or mentally, anymore. We have infinite entertainment at our fingertips at all times. There is too much content to catch up on - every day billions of hours of videos, memes, news, podcasts, and music being added to the backlog.
We can text our group chats, call our families and friends, at any moment. But do we look up and smile at our neighbors in the elevator? Do we make eye contact with our cashier at the grocery store?
If you live in a somewhat busy city, next time you walk around, just observe. How many people have headphones in? It feels like almost everyone is plugged in, all day. One of the most troubling new trends is people wearing over-the-ear headphones while RIDING A BIKE with no helmet…what the actual fuck people? Is listening to Ezra Klein so critical you need to have giant noise-canceling headphones on while cars and trucks go whizzing by?? I swear I saw a guy on an e-bike this week, no helmet, scrolling on Instagram…like brother I think it can wait…
Rather than our phone being a distraction from our life, it feels like our life has become a distraction from our phone.
What have we gained with the technology revolution of the past two decades? Convenience, communication, and content. We can order our favorite food, groceries, drivers, you name it, in a moments notice. We can swipe through all the hottest matches in our town. We can contact anyone we wish at light-speed. We even, through Snapchat/IG reels, can get real-time updates on people we met once, or have never met at all. The content is a truly never-ending waterfall to scroll our brains away into oblivion.
But what have we lost?
We are more anxious, more pessimistic, more lonely than ever. We don’t know or trust our neighbors anymore. We spend more time on screens than with our friends, especially young people (daily screen time for American teens in 2021 was almost nine hours!). The data on social media causing body image and mental health issues has never been more abundant. To add to this, you can gamble on literally anything, and it’s ruining peoples’ lives. And as AI gets better and better, people are literally falling in love with it and “marrying” it.
These are major societal trends that have been spoken about ad nauseam. But there is one small, simple solution that is staring us right in the face.
Unplug. Take back agency. These companies profit off your eyeballs, your ear-balls, your swipes, your clicks, your orders. I’m not saying stop using them entirely, at least not all at once.
I simply propose: What if for a few minutes out of the day, we all unplugged? What if we all sat in silence, in presence with each other? We don’t have to talk, or even make eye contact. But just share the space, walk down the street, soaking in the sights and sounds of your city. I don’t think it would solve everything, but it would bring us a tiny bit closer to each other, to being alive.
Unplugging takes back agency. It allows you to control your own brain, your thoughts, your feelings. To seize control back from the algorithms that want to engage and enrage you. No one profits when you sit in silence, besides your own soul.
It’s not easy. These apps are programmed by the sharpest minds in the world (sadly) to stimulate your senses in a way nothing else can —certainly not the fading posters on the side of the subway. But that’s also the point —none of it is real. Even the stuff that’s “factual” isn’t real. It’s not trying to inform you, it’s trying to engage you. It’s trying to get you to keep clicking, to keep the machine moving, to keep the money flowing. It’s gotten so good at knowing me, my primary Instagram ads whenever I seldom log in are all about “digital detox”, which is beyond ironic…
That first day unplugging is hard. You feel bored, restless, like you’re missing out. You don’t even know how to sit with yourself, since its been so long. But after the second, third, fourth time, some peace and presence trickles in. You start to enjoy having your mind to yourself. You observe little things you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. You can actually smell the air, appreciate the grass, the trees. You can hear the birds chirping in the park. The subtle beauties of existence become alive, because your senses aren’t being bombarded by noise.
As I sat at a cafe on a sunny DC Friday to finish this post, I noticed an older woman sitting at the table next to me. She had no phone in her hand, no headphones in. She was just gently smiling and soaking in the sun. I had to say hello and ask if she was waiting for anyone, or just hanging. She said “Just hanging” with a big smile on her face. I told her how refreshing it was to see someone sitting and just being, enjoying the beauty of the afternoon. We ended up chatting for a while, and I gave her a bunch of restaurant recommendations for her weekend visit here. It wasn’t a monumental interaction, but a beautiful, small, real interaction with another human.
In a time where our attention is being constantly seized and monetized, stillness is an act of rebellion. Non-consumption is an act of reclamation. And it may be the first step to reconnection with others and our world.
This is far from a perfect solution to our problems. I doubt it will prevent an AI apocalypse, reverse polarization, or end income inequality. But it’s a small, powerful step to reclaiming our humanity and our agency.
Maybe it’s one leg of a commute. Maybe it’s one meal. Or even a walk around the block. Try it without headphones, without checking your phone, without someone else’s voices and opinions in your brain. Just silently sit and enjoy the meal, actually taste it, savor every bite. Feel gratitude that you are able to eat, while so many around the world can’t. When you walk to work or a train station, actually observe our neighborhood, your city. Listen deeply to the subtle sounds, soak in the smells (unless you live in New York, then definitely plug your nose).
I’ve started doing a “no-phone” or “no-headphone” walk as a new mindful practice because it removes the temptation entirely. It is so restorative to walk with no goal and no expectation, just enjoying the act of walking. Not running an errand, or trying to get to anywhere.
Doing nothing seems like a simple act, but it is deeply empowering. It isn’t just about removing the noise, it’s about reclaiming your inner voice. Listening to yourself, feeling your feelings and your thoughts, the subtle ones way down that are constantly muted by cacophonous content. And now neuroscience even shows that “being bored” is incredibly regenerative to our brains, and encourages more connectedness, creativity, and happiness.
Nothingness is a reclamation of our personal sovereignty. Not being governed by the algorithms of news and social media, but by the inner depths of our being.
And that nothingness and stillness can lead to clarity, about our own thoughts and feelings, about our lives. And perhaps that clarity, separated from the constant noise of content, can lead to some greater shift in our lives.
Let me know how it goes, and best of luck!
(And to clarify, as we must do in this age, none of this post was written with AI :))